


“How To Survive Raising Three Feral Demons: A Parenting Manual” By Kurama

by mashiee



Category: Naruto
Genre: Kurama is their older brother, Naruko is under a different name but she's essentially the same, Naruto Menma and Naruko are all triplets, No beta we die like Neji, OOC characters, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, he's not here yet but sasuke is probably the most ooc, i also kinda made personalities for some characters that i wasn't too sure on, like everyone is probably ooc, no beta we die like women
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26233192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mashiee/pseuds/mashiee
Summary: It was just the four of them, their parents having died in a car accident when they were young. Well, and their cat.It wasn’t easy being the oldest. He was the one responsible for the triplets and whatever stupid shit they did.If Naruto wasn’t stealing food from the teachers lounge, Natsumi wasn’t pulling pranks on people, and Menma wasn’t getting into fights, then the fucking cat did something.It was difficult, but they made it work.He would never admit it, but he loved them.(Description May Change Later)!!! This has been abandoned! Maybe I'll pick it back up one day. !!!
Relationships: Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama & Uzumaki Naruko, Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama & Uzumaki Naruto, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Kudos: 3





	“How To Survive Raising Three Feral Demons: A Parenting Manual” By Kurama

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! Thank you for clicking! If you've bothered to look at my profile, you can tell I'm not too invested in writing [fanfiction] just yet... Anyway, I really hope you like it! Tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is very appreciated! 
> 
> At the moment this will just be little snippets of their adventures, I don't really have anything planned, but that may change and a storyline may be created later on.

It was just the four of them, their parents having died in a car accident when they were young. Well, and their cat. 

It wasn’t easy being the oldest. He was the one responsible for the triplets and whatever stupid shit they did. If Naruto wasn’t stealing food from the teachers lounge, Natsumi wasn’t pulling pranks on people, and Menma wasn’t getting into fights, then the fucking cat did something. And that's not even everything. There's all the financial crap, too. Medical expenses weren't the worst thing. Their godmother, Senju Tsunade, was the head of Konoha Health Institute, so they got discounts for all their medical expenses. Neither was the electric bill, though it could be a bitch sometimes, especially during the winter. The water bill was the absolute _worst_ , though. Nobody in this fucking house could take a shower shorter than 30 minutes, him included (He's actually the worst but the triplets don't have to know that).

They did have their parents' bank accounts, but he was trying to save that money for when they had nothing else or for when the triplets went out on their own. He knew from personal experience that being on your own for the first time could be difficult.

He tried to pay his dorm rent on his own for about two months before he finally had to ask his parents for help. College was kicking his ass, so he didn't have time to work more hours than he usually worked. Thankfully, they agreed to pay one third of his rent and they helped him find a different job that was much more flexible, payed more, and he could do college work while working. They introduced him to their friends Uchiha Mikoto and Fugaku (friend really, Fugaku was a bitch). They said he met them before, but he can't remember it. He scored a job babysitting their son Itachi.

Later on, he'd babysit Sasuke too, but that was later. Itachi was an absolute angel. If he wasn't an adult and was still a kid, Kurama would babysit him for free.

It was difficult, but they made it work. 

He would never admit it, but he loved them. Naruto, Natsumi, and Menma—the triplets. And even Kyuu—the cat Naruto ran over with his bike and brought home sobbing when he was like seven. Kurama thought they should have thrown it out onto the street and let it die—the stupid grouch was probably way to orange for it to be healthy, anyway—but Naruto, Natsumi, and Menma sent out their most powerful attack. 

Puppy dog eyes.

He couldn’t fight it. It was too powerful.

* * *

“I swear, you can’t have shit in this house!”

Kurama groaned. It was time for what he called “The Five Minute Yell.” 

Basically, it was a session of yelling—usually started by Naruto, as it is here—back and forth between the triplets (because they all usually camp out in different areas of the house so they have to be loud to be heard). It was called “The _Five Minute_ Yell,” because that’s usually about how long it takes for Kurama to get fed up and tell them to shut the fuck up.

Naruto is usually followed up by Natsumi in about..5..4..3—

“Yeah, no shit! Be more specific!” 

There it is.

“I go into the bathroom to take a shit, and when I sit down Kyuu plops himself down in my underwear! Then after I shoo him off he turns around and pukes in them!”

That...was a new one. He heard Natsumi’s bubbling laughter as Menma yelled, “Aren’t you supposed to be Kyuu’s favorite?”

“I thought so too, but I guess not anymore!”

“Well, that’s what you get for eating my leftovers, you heathen!”

“Shut _up_ , Natsumi! Your name was not on the stupid box, so it’s your fault! Plus, I scored a date with Sasuke so I wanted to treat myself!” 

Kurama groaned as he turned over, face on the bed, and pulled his pillow over the back of his head and ears. 

“Bullshit! Sasuke’s already your boyfriend, y’all go to the arcade every Saturday!” 

Any other time he would probably be yelling with them, but right now it was about “Fuck-me: Ass-o’ clock in the morning.

“So?! It’s still a date!” 

“It doesn’t count! That was _my_ ramen!”

He can _feel_ it coming. The raw energy of absolute anger stemming _completely_ from annoyance and intolerance. The waterfall of emotional turmoil that will forcefully pour from his mouth in need to exert his voice. Very very occasionally, he wants--like deep down, wants--them to talk and doesn’t want to annoy them because he’s already yelled enough already and at this point his voice is nonexistent. It just always comes up, though. That insatiable urge for silence (that he always then hates immediately after).

“To be fair, Naruto’s right—” 

“Yeah! Did you hear what Menma said, Natsumi? I’m _right_.”

“Shut the fuck up! Let me finish!” 

Kurama heard Naruto grumbling from the bathroom. Menma continued, “To be fair, you _didn’t_ write your name on the box.”

He heard a loud bang. _‘Natsumi probably slammed her fist down on the desk.’_ Kurma thought.

“Oh, shut _up_ ! It was _my_ food!”

“Well, your name—!”

Kurama was fucking tired. He wanted to _sleep_.

Kurama turned over onto his back, bared his teeth, and growled out, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I JUST WANT ONE DAY OF REST!! PLEASE!”

...

Silence.

...

Fucking finally.

...

...

...

“But my food-!”

Damnit.

Yep. _This_ was the kind of household he lived in. Kurama looked up at the ceiling as he thought, _‘I hate it here, on God.’_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading! Please, tell me what you think! Comments make me supper happy and fuel me to no end~! Constructive criticism is super duper appreciated! And feel free to tell me any ideas or recommendations you have! ^w^


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